Since the inception of the concept referred to as the Red Pill – where men can share their grievances and realizations of the behaviors and mentalities of women, a lot of men have had no problem compartmentalizing women more fittingly because of coming to accept that the female is not whom we thought she was for our entire lives.  She is not whom we were taught that she was.  But more than awakening men to the nature or cultural shaping of women, this awakening through the Red Pill should more importantly alarm men about the realities of their own selves by examining what caused them to be in unfortunate situations with women in the first place.

When I look back at times where I was let down by the actions of a woman whom I had in my life where there was some sort of romantic, social or physical interest in her, I can sincerely attribute everything bad that happened as being exclusively my own fault even when she was the one who did the dirt.

The first problem is mismanaged expectations through desire.  Any situation where we have found ourselves in where we volunteered to participate in it has to by default at least be half of our fault for even going along with it or for even initiating the idea.  The moment that you wanted something from a woman, you automatically put yourself at risk for problems.  Just like the moment that you started up a car and put it into gear and hit the streets or the highway, you have automatically assigned yourself some sort of risk of an accident by being in traffic which is why you must have car insurance.   

When you want a having a woman in your life whether for a good time or a long time or anything in between you’re attracting the possibility of a problem and you bring it on yourself through wanting a certain outcome that you assign as being her responsibility to provide for you or engage in with you.  When things don’t go quite as planned, realize that it started with you initiating the course or agreeing to participate in it.  When you do this, you must accept the outcomes that comes of it even if it wasn’t part of your plans. 

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So when you want her body and in turn she gives you an STD that she should’ve warned you about but that you didn’t get tested with her beforehand, understand that managing your sexual appetite is what gave this badness room to exist.  When you crave a connection with her and she strings you along understand that it began within you through your untrained emotions and imbalance somewhere in your life that gave room for such your vulnearbility to be exploited. 

When you want to be a Captain Save Em’ and you get caught up in the crossfire of her life and thrown around in her tornado of problems, understand that it was your ego that gave birth to this idea of trying to be a hero and now your penalty is getting scored by the flames of hell by trying to get her to heaven. You must call into question if you would still have still tried to be her savior if you felt significant in other areas of life or would you view yourself as being too important to protect to risk dealing with her problems.  Pro athletes usually avoid play pick up games of basketball because they know that an off the court injury could screw up their entire career and income.

Here’s another way that you attracted to yourself.  You see that something is wrong early on but you keep going through with it.  If you’re going to be honest with yourself in more than enough cases you should’ve known good and god damn well that you had no business putting yourself in some of these situations with women.  Why would you get to know a stripper for a relationship when you know that you prize sacredness in romance?  Why are you trying to wife up an IG model showing her body when you know that you don’t want to deal with the stress of a woman entertaining the attention of men who are constantly trying to shoot their shot? Why would you deal with a woman who’s high half the time or drunk too often, when you know you that you don’t like the idea who live much of their life in a haze?    

You attract it to yourself when you don’t already have a plan for your life and in turn a woman makes a plan for your life.  When I look at my calendar, I have goals to hit and things to do.  I don’t have a slot for putting up with bad encounters.  Some of these bad situations with women you attract to yourself by not having a lot going on in the first place and that circumstance is akin to the right temperature and moisture giving room for bacteria and mold and mildew to grow.  

You attract it yourself by not learning lessons and repeating the same behaviors.  How many single mothers do you need to deal with that you discovered to some degree still deals with her kids father in a way that’s not appropriate for her to be your girl before you realize that it’s a bad idea to get deeply involved with women who are in these situations?  If you encounter the same types of problems over and over again with the same type of women over and over again, dealing with the same stuff that you dealt with in 2010 and then 2016 and now in 2021, something may be going on with you.

If you find yourself treating a woman better than you treat yourself, by trying to buy her attention and interest – sending her Cashapps just to get her to interact with you more.  Getting gifts for her that cause you to put your own self-care on the back burner: when instead of buying her some shoes you should’ve gotten yourself a tooth filling, or when you know that you would’ve felt better and gotten a better return on your investment by treating yourself to some cologne instead of trying to be a supporter her endeavors to make her happy, to be memorable out of all of her other worshippers when she reminds you time after time through her actions that she don’t really fuck with you like that because once the money slows down so does her communication, you have to ask yourself why would you even put up with something like this?  Don’t you deserve better than trying to help a woman who would never help you in equal proportion in your pursuits if at all?  How does it feel knowing that the money that you send to her she in turn gives to a guy who’s not worth a damn and yet she values him more than you though he shows up with nothing to her life besides handsomeness a hard dick and a sense of dysfunctional companionship? 

You see when you try to gloss over the real problem, which exceeds you naiveness and instead boils down to your self esteem, you’ll realize that when you try to override the work of getting your mind right, all you’re doing is putting a and aid on a bullet wound. 

This is why I say that you brought it on yourself, you attracted it to yourself because the stage is set for bad things to happen to you and the outward result is just a reflection of the inward problem.  Just like breakouts on your skin start more than skin deep, there’s something going on in your body that’s not right and it just manifests itself through your flesh.  Had constructed a temple of self-wroth well before these women even came in the picture, they wouldn’t never even made it to the front steps of your life.

This is not to discourage from dealing with women at all.  I think that dealing with the right women for you in the proper place In your world is one of the most beautiful things that you can have in your life.  What I’m saying is like in all things: count the costs and to be aware of yourself and you are better off forgiving yourself for what you allowed to take place and to vow to never put yourself through less than you deserve again.

Written By: Waymon Brown. Creator of theesquireproject.com. Email info@theesquireproject.com