Embracing your own style and tastes brings clarity to your world and simplifies your decisions.

When I got into collecting fragrances, I wanted to be a fragrance connoisseur. For me, that meant having a vast collection of all types of scents.  On the weekends, I’d would go to Macy’s and smell everything that was available at the fragrance counter.  I would listen to fragrance reviewers recommendations and buy colognes that I had never smelled.  There had to be a scent for every occasion and season.  I thought that I should have all of the classics to be sophisticated. Even when a fragrance was unappealing, I tried to train my nose to appreciate it.

Hundreds of dollars later, I would have buyers remorse. I really didn’t like the range of variety that was in my collection. Brighter, cleaner and mostly pleasant scents that just smell good and aren’t too strong were the types that I kept coming back to.

Embracing Your Own Style In All Things   

We complicate our world by spreading our attention to too many people and on too many things. The result is exercising too many options without reaching satisfactory answers.  This is where frustration kicks in because of learning to embrace your style you force feed yourself instead of narrowing our focus on what works for you. Make your world larger by narrowing your focus.

People struggle accepting that certain people and situations just aren’t for them. You’ve been alive for 20, 30, 40, 50 or more years and that’s plenty of time to develop preferences that are uniquely yours. 

When you’re embracing your own style it gives you security and a sense of certainty. Whether purposely or subconsciously, your formation has been shaped by everything that you’ve interpreted in life leading up to this moment.  That’s something that you should find more interesting about yourself than out of place about. 

The type of people that you’re drawn to, the way that you like to dress, the types of foods you enjoy are what define your personality. If you observe yourself the riddles of life of already solved for you.

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Take a Listen

With my example of the fragrances, when I would try to get into heavier, darker scents, I noticed that those types of smells would bring my spirit down and wipe out my zest. What that indicated to me was that I should stick to scents that are mood boosters.

When I’m in the market for a car, automatically I know that comfortable seats, a stylish exterior and a serene ride are at the top of my list.  

I took a cross country trip and went to 38 states. There were many parts of the country that didn’t live up to the hype. What I noticed was that I really enjoyed densely populated areas that are scenically gorgeous. Places throughout Virginia, Rhode Island and the Pacific Northwest appealed to me the most. Being able to get outside and walk, explore architecture, history and culture, within an atmosphere that feels good for my mental health are the checkboxes that I look for. I’m laid back and don’t need to live in the middle of a party scene.

VS.

When it comes to celebrity women, Cardi B, Rhianna and Beyonce aren’t women whom I find myself admiring. When I mention that people believe that I’m going against the status quo deliberately. I’m not. Women who present hypersexuality publicly are a turn off.

When I see most Instagram models, I’m usually not impressed. I don’t like women who have a manufactured look in their aesthetic or when they’ve gotten their body done or when they wear the big broom bristle snuffleupagus eyelashes like you can sweep a patio with her face if you turn her upside down and hold her by the ankles. Loud-mouthed women masculine women tatted up are also a no-go.

So I’ve tended to notice celebrity ladies along the lines of former MTV personality from the 90’s Ananda Lewis in her prime, actress Robinne Lee or singer Melanie Fiona.  Now even though I don’t know these women, I’m attracted to the way that I’ve generally seen them present themselves which is an ultra-feminine, girly-girl type and with a touch of an exoticness in their melanated faces. 

I like nice, warm-spirited women, who wear heels and bakes cakes.  No brass knuckles and no blunts, – no thank you.

And usually when I have interactions with women who have the personality type that’s I don’t find appealing, I find that it’s best to not even socialize with them any more than needed. 

And that’s the whole thing. Embracing your style means finding a good fit based on your temperament. All things ultimately take effort to truly be compatible for you, but personal style is about what’s complimentary to you. 

Written By: Waymon Brown. Creator of theesquireproject.com. Email info@theesquireproject.com